Jeydah Mari Cawed

It’s Raining Mens, Hallelujah

I did not give birth, but

I birthed to blood that

Gushed out through me monthly

No one knew as I sat quietly

I got easily tired and was mocked for it

If you saw me bleed out would I be mocked for it

Alas, you have to catch the blood and hide that blood

Watch yourself bleed but do not let it flood

My blood leaves stains

It leaves me with pain

Nobody cares, just go on

I fucking care, I cannot go on

An Ending World

Fleeting things

Feel like permanent flings

The bird still sings

The pain still stings

Here you are packing up things

Here I am giving up rings

I can’t look you in the eye

I won’t say goodbye

You’re not here

But you’re just near

You never held on

Yet I never let go

When did you go?

When will I stop?

I stopped writing poems

You never listened to my songs

I know you’re always here

You never were

I know that face

I don’t know you

I know that voice

I never knew you

How would we know

the what-ifs and would be’s,

if you won’t introduce yourself

to a stranger like me?

Perfect but not real

How would I believe that?

I’m stuck here

How would I go back?

I made you up

I want to be you

I guess that’s still me

I’m not sure who I could be

Schedule rests and break

Rest has become a responsibility

Strengthen your body as a defense mechanism

Rest to fully understand ideas shoved your way

So you could also finish those chores

Rest has become obligatory